It is always heart breaking to see a human life cut short because of a condition which is, unfortunately, still taken too lightly, and sometimes ridicularized as a dramatic act of self pity. For those of you who have not been caught by the claws of “depression”, consider yourselves to be extremely lucky. You will never understand what we, the ones victims of the condition, will have to endure for the rest of our lives, nor how we feel, not matter how much you try. Depression is a condition that kills you while you live, that destroys everything you are, everything you love, creating gaps and distances in relationships, and it cannot be cured, only temporarily controlled. Studies also indicate that it can be genetically passed on.
Having depression means that we fight our inner demons constantly, sometimes caging them, sometimes being caged. It comes to people of any gender, any age, any race, any level of healthy or education without discriminating, without any warnings. When we fall deep into the darkness of sorrows, the voices of loved ones around us might not be strong enough to reach our ears, to knock us back to our senses. Those people might get frustrated by our lack of reacting but they have no idea the wars that we are fighting inside, which can affect health, physical condition of the body, sleep patterns and our sense of caring.
The strongest weapon we will ever have would be a positive memory, a hold in faith/religious belief, something that is stronger than ourselves and that is not part of ourselves because we will hate every cell in our bodies, everything we are, everything we had ever done, everything that we could possibly do. I urge those who are lucky enough not to have this to have patience, to communicate, to understand that we fight something bigger than we are, that we will loose our senses regardless of how much we care for you. Do not let those who you love fight this dark monsters alone. Be that outer strength that is needed, do not give up. For those who have the condition, I feel and I know the pain. Find that star in the middle of the dark sky and do not take your eyes away from it because, most of the time, it will be the only thing that will help keeping you alive. Premature unplugging from this existence will only be a temporary solution. In the end, Death will come to claim all of us.
I cannot tell you that life is worth living but I can tell you that you are loved by someone, either in this life or in another realm of existence. If you cannot fight for your own reasons, fight for those loved ones around you.
(image credit: D.Gray Man manga)