The monster called ‘depression’


      It is always heart breaking to see a human life cut short because of a condition which is, unfortunately, still taken too lightly, and sometimes ridicularized as a dramatic act of self pity. For those of you who have not been caught by the claws of “depression”, consider yourselves to be extremely lucky. You will never understand what we, the ones victims of the condition, will have to endure for the rest of our lives, nor how we feel, not matter how much you try. Depression is a condition that kills you while you live, that destroys everything you are, everything you love, creating gaps and distances in relationships, and it cannot be cured, only temporarily controlled. Studies also indicate that it can be genetically passed on. 

      Having depression means that we fight our inner demons constantly, sometimes caging them, sometimes being caged. It comes to people of any gender, any age, any race, any level of healthy or education without discriminating, without any warnings. When we fall deep into the darkness of sorrows, the voices of loved ones around us might not be strong enough to reach our ears, to knock us back to our senses. Those people might get frustrated by our lack of reacting but they have no idea the wars that we are fighting inside, which can affect health, physical condition of the body, sleep patterns and our sense of caring. 

     The strongest weapon we will ever have would be a positive memory, a hold in faith/religious belief, something that is stronger than ourselves and that is not part of ourselves because we will hate every cell in our bodies, everything we are, everything we had ever done, everything that we could possibly do. I urge those who are lucky enough not to have this to have patience, to communicate, to understand that we fight something bigger than we are, that we will loose our senses regardless of how much we care for you. Do not let those who you love fight this dark monsters alone. Be that outer strength that is needed, do not give up. For those who have the condition, I feel and I know the pain. Find that star in the middle of the dark sky and do not take your eyes away from it because, most of the time, it will be the only thing that will help keeping you alive. Premature unplugging from this existence will only be a temporary solution. In the end, Death will come to claim all of us.

I cannot tell you that life is worth living but I can tell you that you are loved by someone, either in this life or in another realm of existence. If you cannot fight for your own reasons, fight for those loved ones around you.


(image credit: D.Gray Man manga)


The “I’m Tired Project”


” I’m Tired Project” (find them on different social medias).

I cannot believe it took me this long to hear about it. I have not read all their stories yet but I will get to read as many as I can. I have sent them an email asking if they had covered any stories about “I’m tired of people telling me that I’m broken because I don’t want to be in a relationship right now”, meaning: the great little assumptions people make when you are just an independent person with different goals, outside the box, and you hear “I need to FIX you with my friend”, and then it starts escalating to “or….can I just ask you something? Are you a homosexual?” (Which is an absurd assumption but it often comes out in conversations…), and closing with “then, you might want to see a doctor. I think you hame hormonal problems” (what?? Because I have chosen to not be in a relationship?)

I m an Anthropologist and Historian, besides been connected with the “energy world” (studying meditation and modalities of what people might call new age cults, including the pagan traditions of the past). Once, a mentor told me I was “normal”, and asked me “what are we? Are we the product our the words of our parents? Are we the product of what society shapes us into believing it is the framework of how each gender should be and behave like? Are you even allowing yourself to hear our own thoughts and voices? Don’t be afraid to break the box. Not all of us are meant to life inside of it”. This changed my life to be the additional strength I needed to cope with the world around me.

Love, as in the romantic sense, means very little to me because it has become shallow, …weak. Most people seek the ‘easy’ and not the ‘meaningful’. Most people seek a relationship because society tells them that it is what you should be doing. AT this point in time we are no longer an agricultural society that depends on procreating in order the survive. We are in a point where the individual can be its unique, independent self.

I invite people to check this project.



Alchemy: brief meaning


The evolution of the human mind. May people have the inaccurate idea that for thousands of years in the past we lived under the covers of ignorance. Although we had limited resources in technology, we played a respectful role in the creative processes involving making sense of the world around us. Records continue to prove that the human psyche was at a premium high during the antiquity.
Extinction can also occur in school of thoughts, such as Alchemy, which was split into parts, becoming their own different subjects. A narrow understanding of Alchemy would guide most to think it was sole a mystical practice that attempted the transmutation of metals into gold. That could not be furthest from the truth. Alchemy was a complex study of science and philosophy, embedded with much diversity of symbolism which are still topic of arguments for their possible interpretative meanings.
In short, the true soul of Alchemy consists in describing the process of the transformation of the human soul through by using a rich variety of allegories and symbolism. It composes a guide for the purification of the mind, body and soul.

– Mythos

alchemical wheel

Book protagonists and how they lead me to lack of sleep


With all my talk about books, I must start by saying I do have a favorite series, and many others in which I love, and tons of others which I did not care for it (which doesn’t mean anyone is to agree with me. Just…it wasn’t for me, and I get so frustrated then I can’t connect to a book in which I really thought I would love). But that’s all I will say for now because that was not the goal for this entry, and I will have a special post of this series once the last book is out by summer *can’t freaking wait!!!!! *giggles* .
I discovered one of my newest favorite writers, Jennifer Armentrout, and I’m soaking in as many of her titles under Young Adult theme as she can write. I will also talk about her series soon enough because I intended to talk about frustrating leading characters and the painful agony to breathe the same lines as they live, for a lack of better visual.

My personality is…strange. I get it, and I sign on the bottom. I do despise weak female protagonists, who are immature about what they believe or feel. I loathe the ones that go through a book series debating between boys (and I have mentioned my utterly disgust for love triangles and all the reasoning for it, so I will not repeat myself. I hate it so much it infuriates me to even think about it). Currently, I’m reading a very interesting series, within the Universe of JINNS (or… aka Genies), called “A Fire Spirit Novel” by Samantha Young. Fascinating stuff and it’s being fun to learn more about the Jinns….ridiculously evil, cruel, disloyal little bastards. The female protagonist (even though it’s a third person novel) is terrible, to say the least…. for a 18yr old she acts more like a needy 13yrs, with the constant debate over who she loves, or likes, or wants. *drives me balistic*. Then, the kicker! The whole “yes, I love boy A but I don’t think he loves me, but I get all fuzzy inside for boy B and I dont want any girls to have him, but boy A is the love of my life”. That’s why I don’t read in public, because I do come equiped with an arsenal of creative never ending stock of blasphemies which I’m never shy to shout outloud as I read.

Last night I was in this boat ride…..cursing the female protagonist until almost 3am when I had to start working on my own writing to cool me down. I swear to heavens I’m only reading through her freaking pits of hell on fire drama because I’m in love with one of the boys, and the Jinn world is too cool to pass, otherwise I would have burned the book down in between my hands out of pure anger. That simple. Whatever emotions TV and people’s interaction doesn’t bring me, it comes blasting three-folded with the books. Go figure…. there is a fire to melt every ice, as I’m coming to find out mine.

With that out of my system….. I’ve learned so much with the books I’ve read in the past few months, the characters I met, the fiction boys/creatures which will forever kill the chances of any real human could ever provide me *LOL*, and discovered parts of me in each of them.
The say “I’m a reader, not because I don’t have a life, but because I choose to have many”, and that is one of the life mottos I take with me. Books are friends who helps you befriend yourself in an entire different way. It teaches you about yourself; it makes you comfortable being alone with who you are; and it gives a silent comfort of constant voices. There is no greater magic then knowing yourSELF.

– Mythos


Last few days and…let’s see the LIGHT


      Let’s see….. the past 24hrs have being super busy for me *Thank all the Gods out there!* and I have being meaning to write a little more about all the great stuff I have being reading, which I’ve come to learn, fall in love with, and be taken to some awesome adventures with those books. I also will share some of my other side, with spirituality and things of such nature. For those who have no idea of what that could be, take it with an open heart. It’s one cool ride! I do not claim to be under the wings of a single religion, as I have come to the understanding they are all connected in ways. Find what it feels right for you, and that’s the path you should always take.

      But, for today, I will share a thought from May of last year….why? Just because I felt like doing so 😉 It kind of connects my post of Light and Dark. I do love the duality and complement of the charges. Can’t help it.

      Dark doesn’t become without Light, and Light doesn’t become without Dark. Asking to see the Light is asking to be blind with the pain of seeing nothing but what IS, and if the eyes are coming from the Dark, the pain is even more intense. The eyes will get use to it, and the discomfort will disappear. The Universe always brings what we ask for, and the truth can be a blinding Light.
               That’s why the say the famous words ‘be careful with what you with for’.